The online dating scene has made it easier than ever to find a cute stranger who can become your cute someone. Despite the ease of technology, that process is much easier said than done. A lot of pressure comes with keeping up a conversation with someone you don’t know anything about (other than the fact that they’re hot) — if you even had the patience to swipe or scroll enough to find someone worth chatting with, that is.
Dating sites for white guys
One aspect of online dating dynamics poses a challenge for both men and women, but from different angles: If it’s a lady you’re pursuing, chances are she’s received more than a few unsolicited messages already. For women, maneuvering around creeps is often more work than it’s worth. For men, the responsibility to not be one of those guys can add a heightened intimidation factor.
Don’t be a creep
The internet is plagued with tales of nasty messages and whack opening lines from men. Avoiding the creep factor with someone you just matched with shouldn’t be hard — simply don’t be pushy about sexting, getting their number, or meeting up, and definitely don’t harass someone about not wanting to hang out during a pandemic. (Just don’t be pushy about anything, really. It’s as simple as that.) As for devising an opener that will grow into a nice conversation, the harmless intent to be funny or flattering can go south quickly. Choosing the right dating app can make all the difference for men who are a little rusty or generally shy about messaging first. Bumble, the app where only women can make the first move, is an obvious safe choice for the latter.
For men who need a point in the right direction when it comes to conversation starters, dating sites with user profiles more extensive than a rushed Tinder bio could make a world of difference. The ability to see someone’s hobbies, favorite movies, career goals, or even political views before even talking to them opens up a wealth of clever ice breakers. Bonding over how you both thought Solo: A Star Wars Story was actually good, is one million times better than telling a woman that you “think you saw them somewhere.” (That is not endearing. Never do that.)
Be honest about what you want
Tinder can be the right app for some singles. But if you find yourself constantly deleting it and re-downloading Tinder every other month despite the fact that you hate the app, a different site might make better use of your time. What is it that’s not working about your current dating site of choice? Is it too entrenched in hookup culture? Is it not focused on hookups enough? Do you find yourself getting intentions mixed up with people who aren’t looking for the same thing? Each dating site serves a different purpose, and things are a lot easier when you’re mingling with people who want what you want.
- Best hookup apps and dating sites to find casual sex with no strings attached
- These dating sites are actually good for finding a serious relationship
- Best 420-friendly dating sites for pot lovers and cannabis enthusiasts
- Find your perfect player 2: These are the best dating sites for gamers
- The best dating sites for introverts, wallflowers, and anyone hesitant to try online dating
What are the best dating sites for men?
Looking for someone to cuddle up with these last weeks of winter? Here are the best dating sites and apps for single men looking for a date, a movie buddy, a friend with benefits, or even love and commitment.
Best For Most Men Looking for a Relationship
- Free version: Yes
- Three months of Standard: $74.97 ($24.99 per month)
- Six months of Standard: $95.94 ($15.99 per month)
- 12 months of Standard: $143.88 ($11.99 per month)
- Three months of Premium: $80.97 ($26.99 per month)
- Six months of Premium: $107.94 ($17.99 per month)
- 12 months of Premium: $167.88 ($13.99 per month)
Any man thinking seriously about getting serious in a relationship has thought about match at least once. Its decades in the business bring constantly-evolving insight to the table for singles looking for that spark. But if you’re expecting a corny questionnaire and ancient graphics reflective of the fact that it was born in the 90s, think again.
One of Match’s shining points of consistency over the years is its well-populated but balanced user base. There’s a near-even split between men and women, users who don’t have kids and users who do have kids, and a pretty stacked feed of people to match with even if you’re looking for love in a less-populated area.
Match (no more “.com”) has totally reconstructed its questionnaire to be less of a tedious interrogation and more of a conversational probe into how you’d react to realistic situations — both with a partner and, say, a neighbor who needs help at 3. a.m. The probe into your daily habits and values (plus the ability to mark traits that are deal breakers) ensures that match sets you up with someone whose ideal lifestyle matches yours. The meshing of playfulness and rational thinking downs the pressure of signing up for a paid dating site.
The site’s push to appeal to a younger crowd goes past the clean app redesign. AskMatch, a free dating advice service that lets you pick the brain of a dating coach, can be thanked for a wave of positive reviews on the App Store(opens in a new tab). In 2020, Match launched Vibe Check, a video call feature that aims to give new matches the closest thing possible to a first date. (This is also a smart way to ensure that the person on the other end is legit.) Users can now talk to their Top Picks without a paid subscription — a free feature that’s sure to make up some people’s minds.
Best Low-Key Relationship App
- Free version: Yes
- One month of Hinge Preferred: $34.99
- Three months of Hinge Preferred: $64.99 ($21.66/month)
- Six months of Hinge Preferred: $99.99 ($16.66/month)
Although it launched in 2012, Hinge(opens in a new tab) massively overhauled the platform in 2016 to differentiate itself from Tinder, which is also owned by Match Group. Now, Hinge’s matching criteria past a cute profile picture and its palette of non-corny ice breakers can help give men ideas for more natural opening lines, and encourage anybody to start the conversation.
Despite the fact that we’re actively seeking out new dating apps to try, no one wants to be on these. Unless you’re in it for the booty calls, the whole point of online dating is to find your person so you can stop looking for your person. That was the idea behind Hinge’s 2019 rebrand to “the dating app designed to be deleted.” TBH, it’s a smart combo of witty and optimistic that should deliver users some hope. Hinge’s real-world statistics speak on that: Beta trials of a feature called “We met” asked Hinge users how the first date went. Some 90% said the first date was great and 72% said they’d be down for a second date.
There’s a common understanding among users that Hinge isn’t just for sex, but there’s no pressure to rush into a relationship either (users can also tag what they’re looking for on their profile, so it’s simple to see right away someone you might have different goals than).
Hinge famously uses personal prompts to find you anywhere from five to 15 matches per day, and limits free users to eight likes per day, so you have to choose intentionally. Prompts range from “The most spontaneous thing I’ve ever done” to “Two truths and a lie.”
You can also explore a potential match’s height, college (if they went), political affiliation, stance on weed, and more, which are displayed as profile constants like age or gender. By covering so many bases before even messaging someone, Hinge lowers your chance of meeting someone you’d hate.
Best For Finding A Spouse
- Free version: Yes
- Six months of Premium: $119.40 ($19.90 per month)
- One year of Premium: $166.80 ($13.90 per month)
- Two years of Premium: $213.60 ($8.90 per month)
Ever see a commercial for eharmony and wonder if a dating site that corny actually works? Weirdly enough, it does. A spokesperson for the site says it’s been used by 54 million people, and is apparently responsible for 4 percent of U.S. marriages. That doesn’t mean you’re going to walk down the aisle within the first year, but it at least narrows your options to singles who are open to being exclusive, meeting the family, or moving in together.
What was once a doozy of a sign-up process is now short, sweet, and free of the corny, religious questions that held it back from being a top choice for the younger crowd. The comprehensive questionnaire now covers 32 dimensions (up from 29) of what makes a happy relationship. Instead of blatantly asking if you get mad easily or if you’re emotionally stable, eharmony may ask how you handle apologizing after a fight or if a certain action would piss you off. These hypotheticals draw more natural responses, and a few other fun ones are thrown in to cover surface-level basics like hobbies, too. Everything is displayed on profiles that look like a fancy résumé designed by a graphic designer.
It’s not the deep dive into your emotions like it was a few years ago, but eharmony is still so confident in its matchmaking skills that you’ll get three months for free if you don’t find a boo within the first three months.
It should be noted that eharmony hasn’t always been a welcoming place to members of the LGBTQ+ community. Following a 2010 lawsuit, their gay and lesbian spin-off site Compatibility Partners has been folded into eharmony’s overall site, but users on Reddit as recently as 2019 say that it still seems geared more toward straight people.
Best For Planning Real Dates
Credit: Coffee Meets Bagel
- Free version: Yes
- One month of Premium: $34.99
- Three months of Premium: $105 ($34.99 per month)
- Six months of Premium: $210 ($34.99 per month)
Grabbing coffee is the low-pressure date idea that lets you skip the formalities that come with a nice restaurant. Coffee Meets Bagel is like the “grabbing coffee” version of dating apps, aiming to bring an easygoing atmosphere to folks who might be a little rusty. It’s actually one of the few dating apps that doesn’t get completely roasted on Reddit, with promising success stories popping up in multiple threads.
Tons of active users is usually a plus. It is nice to know that your options are virtually limitless, but it can be jarring to have 20 new messages every time you sign on. This happens on eharmony and Tinder alike — people want connection, and they want it now. CMB’s unhurried approach is great for men who are out of practice, introverted, or who simply don’t feel like scrolling every time they have a free minute.
Every day, CMB offers seven of its best matches (bagels) for you, chosen by your answers to prompts, how you swiped on yesterday’s batch, and who has already expressed interest in you, too. Bagels are limited regardless of whether you upgrade to a paid account.
CMB encourages users to get the ball rolling by only keeping your match for seven days. It’s less pressure than Bumble’s 24-hour time limit but still eliminates a list full of matches who don’t care enough to respond or plan a meet-up. Plus, not being bombarded with available hotties 24/7 gives you time to contemplate whether you genuinely want to get to know them or if you’re just bored.
Best For Liberal Men
- Free version: Yes
- One month of Basic : $11.99
- Three months of Basic: $23.97 ($7.99 per month)
- Six months of Basic: $35.94 ($5.99 per month)
- One month of Premium: $23.99
- Three months of Premium: $47.97 ($15.99 per month)
- Six months of Premium: $71.94 ($11.99 per month)
Users can illuminate the issues they hold dear and weed out people they’d want to argue with by answering deal-breakers like “Would you date someone who keeps a gun in the house?” or “Should the government require children be vaccinated for preventable diseases?” As one of the most inclusive dating sites on the market by far, OkCupid is known for its decision to let all users choose their pronouns. In June 2020, the site introduced the option to add a Black Lives Matter badge to your profile. A voter badge was also introduced in September ahead of the 2020 election — and per OkCupid’s own findings, singles who marked an intention to vote were 63 percent more likely to get a match and 85 percent more likely to receive a message (compared to non-voters).
Of course, politics aren’t the only determining factor in romance. OKCupid has in-depth user bios, but profile building isn’t long or tedious at all. The questions are smart and dive into your dating style without being too mushy. You’ll even get to see the percentage of how much you have in common with other daters based on the questions you both answer. It’s an algorithm that OKC has been perfecting and evolving since their launch in 2004.
Best For Men Tired of Always Initiating the Conversation
- Free version: Yes
- One week of Premium: $21.99
- One month of Premium: $44.99
- Three months of Premium: $89.99 ($30 per month)
- Lifetime of Premium: $229.99
Meet the dating app version of the Sadie Hawkins dance, created by ex-Tinder employees. In an attempt to correct one of the common complaints of dating apps — that women get spammed with tons of creepy messages — women are required to message first with Bumble. It pushes some women out of their comfort zone, but like Tinder, you’ll at least know that someone also swiped right on you before making a move. It also takes the pressure off of dudes who feel like they need to start the conversation every time. (For same-sex matches, either party can start things off.)
Matches expire after 24 hours so you can’t agonize over that opening line for too long, and your match list won’t be filled with people you forgot you matched with 57 weeks ago. It’s a win-win setup for anyone actually interested in talking to the people they swipe right on.
You’ll see pictures and short bios of potential matches in your area and can swipe depending on whether you’re interested. It’s a pretty close mock of Tinder, except for the fact that Bumble relieves the anxiety of accidentally swiping left on a hottie by letting you backtrack. Bumble also offers a BFF feature to find strictly platonic friends and a LinkedIn-ish networking feature called Bizz in an attempt to remind everyone that it’s not just a hookup app.
Paid users can also filter by tons of profile traits, such as height, exercise habits, education, star sign, politics, romantic goals, and more.
Best For Finding A Friends With Benefits
- Free version: Yes
- One month of Tinder Plus: $7.99
- Six months of Tinder Plus: $23.99 ($4 per month)
- 12 months of Tinder Plus: $31.99 ($2.67 per month)
- One month of Tinder Gold: $24.99
- Six months of Tinder Gold: $74.99 ($12.50 per month)
- 12 months of Tinder Gold: $99.99 ($8.33 per month)
- One month of Tinder Platinum: $29.99
- Six months of Tinder Platinum: $89.99 ($15 per month)
- 12 months of Tinder Platinum: $119.99 ($10 per month)
Our love/hate relationship with Tinder notwithstanding, we can’t ignore the fact that it’s a tried-and-true option when you feel like keeping things casual. (We’d be surprised if you didn’t already download it at least once.) Tinder pioneered the now-ubiquitous swiping function, revolutionizing the world of online dating and boasting 1.6 billion swipes per day, a stat that drowns out dating apps with comparable mechanics.
What started out as strictly a hookup app has turned into one of the biggest matchmakers in the world. As you’re served a series of photos, swipe right if you like what you see and left if you don’t. When you both indicate interest in each other, you’ll get a notification that it’s a match.
Tinder may not want to advertise as such, but we all know what it’s mostly used for. You’re quite literally deciding if you want to interact with someone based on nothing but profile pictures and a quote from The Office, so yeah, you can see how getting laid would be the main goal of most users — but hey, we all know those couples who met on Tinder and have been together for years.
“Super Like” is a neat feature that lets someone you’ve swiped right on know that you’re really interested. These can be flattering if you follow up with a friendly conversation or annoying if you follow up with a grotesque attempt at seeing if they’re DTF.
One good thing about Tinder’s rashness? Putting “Just looking to hook up” is an innocuous move. On an app where so many people are looking for so many different things, most people actually appreciate the head’s up in case they’re looking for a different type of relationship.
Best For Queer Men
- Free version: Yes
- One month of XTRA: $19.99
- Three months of XTRA: $39.99 ($13.33 per month)
- 12 months of XTRA: $99.99 ($8.33 per month)
- One month of Unlimited: $39.99
- Three months of Unlimited: $99.99 ($33.33 per month)
- Six months of Unlimited: $149.99 ($24.99 per month)
With Chappy shutting down in Feb. 2019, there aren’t many apps specifically for gay or bisexual men that aren’t some iteration of Grindr’s ab pic and dick pic-filled feed. But even after a decade of the same horny agenda, Grindr remains a go-to for instantaneous location-based hookups for gay and bi men.
Going into it, you probably have an idea of what’s coming on Grindr: some serious adulation, a few pushy messages, and dick pics. But finding and meeting up with men on Tinder or OkCupid isn’t always easy, especially if you’re in a small town with a meager queer community. Whether it’s your first time with a guy and you want someone experienced or you’re the experienced guy, it’s nice to have Grindr in your back pocket.
That’s not to say it’s not for relationships. One of my good friends met his current boyfriend on Grindr(opens in a new tab) and nearly 85% users say that they’ve fallen in love on the app. The Grindr for Equality campaign also pushes the app past being a simple hookup facilitator by advocating for sexual health and the safety of LGBTQ+ people in unsafe countries.
The main complaint from bisexual people about Grindr isn’t that it’s aggressively horny or overwhelmingly men. It’s the biphobia. This thread of Reddit users have experienced it in some way, describing the disappointment they feel from not being supported by their LGBTQ+ community and getting messages like “vaginas are gross” at the first mention of being bisexual or anything that’s not strictly gay. Grindr is technically advertised toward queer women as well, but because of the atmosphere on the app, they’re few and far between.
Best For Working Professionals
Credit: Elite Singles
- Free version: Yes
- Three months of Premium: $53.85 ($17.95 per month)
- Six months of Premium: $59.70 ($9.95 per month)
- 12 months of Premium: $107.40 ($8.95 per month)
A difference in work ethic and professional schedules can really throw a wrench into even the most head-over-heels relationships. For those unwilling to budge when it comes to their partner’s educational values and career goals, EliteSingles attempts to offer more specificity where eharmony and Match leave off.
EliteSingles loves to brag that 82% of their members are college grads, and with most of its members between 33-50 years old, we can pretty surely say you won’t have to worry about accidentally coming across a fresh college graduate. College kids probably wouldn’t be down to pay $30 to $70 a month on a dating site anyway, and that high subscription price is just another giveaway that EliteSingles is targeted toward more established folks with a disposable income.
Rather than being thrown into an endless pool of profiles, EliteSingles attempts to match you through the Five Factor Personality Test. Via 29 algorithms, the site will try to find singles to complement your attachment style, selfishness, and more stuff that you should try to be honest about. The boring parts are broken up by chill questions like “Do you like sleeping with the window open?” and “Which of these foods would you like the best?” It takes forever and a lot of the questions are fake deep, but how else do you expect to be successful on a dating site?
Plus, you can take comfort in the fact that you won’t be dealing with fake or scam accounts, as EliteSingles manually verifies all accounts with an upscale fraud detection system. However, though you can technically filter potential matches by profession (for example, a teacher looking to date another teacher), it’s difficult for any dating site to track down every single person lying about their job or how much money they make.
Best As A Last Resort
- Free version: Yes
- One month of Premium: $29.95
- Three months of Premium: $39.95 ($13.32 per month)
- Six months of Premium: $74.95 ($12.49 per month)
- 12 months of Premium: $119.95 ($10 per month)
What initially began as a Facebook app developed in 2007 has grown into a company with 40 million users in more than 80 countries. Rather than asking its users for dating questions, Zoosk(opens in a new tab) picks dates for its users based on quick questions about physical appearance and religion, and then keeps tabs on who you talk to the most to get a better idea of what you’re after.
When Zoosk switched from a social media app to a legit dating site, it was more or less in a league of its own. Incorporating “liking” photos and having a similar look as a Facebook feed was super attractive to young, single people… in the early 2000s. The problem is that Zoosk hasn’t changed much since then. It’s plain, riddled with dead or fake profiles, and and there certainly aren’t any modern tweaks like OkCupid’s politics-related ice breakers or Match’s overhauled questionnaire. Despite ads being everywhere, people started opting for Match Group’s offerings with more premium designs, less messy email notifications, and algorithms that take your personality type into account.
Zoosk is free to sign up, but you’ll need a paid subscription to do basically anything. Not only is there a fee on the end of every message, but Reddit users complain about random charges to their account and ignored requests to cancel their subscriptions. The company also uses its own form of currency called “Zoosk coins” that are available for purchase. Daters can use these for features like adding a “boost” to their own profiles in search or sending another user a virtual gift like roses. The whole coin system feels less like romance and more like you’re playing some sort of pop-up ad game, but they’re there.
For Those Simply Looking For Sex
- Free version: Yes
- One month of Gold: $27.95
- Three months of Gold: $59.85 ($19.95 per month)
- One year of Gold: $179.40 ($14.95 per month)