Dating sites for singles over 40 can be a great way to connect with other members, but they can also be a minefield of scams and fake profiles. To make sure you’re not wasting your time or money, you should take the time to do your research before signing up for any service.
We’ve done our own research and found that these are some of the best dating sites for singles over 40: [list names].
Best dating sites for singles over 40
Dating when you’re 40 or older can be intimidating — unlike when you’re in your 20s or 30s, you can’t assume everyone your age is single and looking. If you’ve found yourself “on the market” again, it’s important to remember that half of U.S. marriages do end in divorce, so the dating pool isn’t as small as you might think.
Meeting people organically out in public still happens, but sometimes it’s easier and less intimidating to meet people where they are. There’s a comfort in knowing that the people you find on dating apps are single (hopefully) and looking for a romantic relationship, so at least you’re both on the same page.
How to start dating again at 40
The first step is just acknowledging that you’re ready. From there, decide how and where you want to try to meet people. Dating apps have been around for multiple decades, which means they are the norm and definitely not a last resort.
You’ll also want to be direct with what you’re looking for. Serious relationship? Casual hookup? A friendship that might lead to more? Whatever it is, be upfront because you don’t want to fall for someone only to realize you aren’t looking for the same thing. Yes, it’s more vulnerable to say exactly what you want, but being straightforward from the outset is the new dating norm.
As in any phase of life, dating takes time and patience. We spoke to Jennifer Frazier, a 46-year-old based in Indiana, who met someone awesome on Match. They went on a few dates and she really liked him, but he was interested in dating a lot of women at the same time, and though Frazier enjoyed his company, she realized that kind of a relationship wasn’t for her.
Dating in your 40s, 50s, 60s, or older can feel lonely when all your friends are married or in relationships. If you want to find a community of people experiencing the same things as you, we recommend visiting the subreddit r/datingoverforty — it’s full of people sharing stories of success, heartbreak, bad dates, good dates, and more. Just go in aware that most dating subreddits tend to skew slightly on the pessimistic side.
Problems you might run into when dating over 40
While Frazier says the stigma around dating sites with the over-40 crowd is mostly gone, she doesn’t think a lot of single men in her area are using these sites, so she’s experiencing fewer options. She also thinks location plays a big part in how successful dating apps will be for a person, and we agree. Typically, the bigger the city, the easier it’ll be to find a date. Frazier, for example, has a smaller pool of people in Indiana compared to someone who lives in New York or Chicago.
“It’s hard to find a night off from cooking, driving kids, and all the other things we are responsible for.”
“I love the idea of Bumble because it gives women the power to send the first message,” Frazier says. “There were only about four men in my age range within 25 miles, though, so that was disappointing.”
Frazier also says having a family can get in the way of dating because you might have kids to take care of and taking time off from parent duty isn’t always easy.
“It’s hard to find a night off from cooking, driving kids, and all the other things we are responsible for,” she says. “I have faced pressure from men I have not even met who are being demanding of my time. I have enough demands without adding to it.”
By the way, if someone is demanding of your time and pushing to meet up right away, we want to remind you that it’s OK to say no.
Do dating apps really work?
While Frazier hasn’t had the most success with dating apps, she does know a lot of people who have — her sister-in-law met her boyfriend on Tinder. When doing research for this article, a couple of friends told me their mom, or uncle, or other family member met their significant other on a dating app.
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According to Pew Research Center, 57 percent of online daters describe their overall experience as positive. A lot of factors add up to whether online dating will be successful for you. Some apps use super in-depth compatibility quizzes that lead to really specific matches, where others just present you with a bunch of singles in your area within your specified age range. Both have their perks.
One thing to remember is to have patience. Finding a partner who ticks all (or most) of your boxes doesn’t happen overnight. Online dating or not, you’ll most likely go through some duds and have some bad dates, but hopefully that will lead you to a healthy, happy relationship.
Which dating site is best for singles over 40?
The best dating site varies depending on what you’re looking for. If you want something serious, Match(opens in a new tab)‘s 25 years of experience will help you find someone compatible who is also looking for a serious relationship. eharmony(opens in a new tab) also specializes in serious relationships, but the site is really for people who want to marry their next partner, so it’s taking serious to the highest level. Though, Frazier had a pretty shitty experience with eharmony — after the extensive questionnaire, she was matched with a coworker’s husband (yikes). While you would hope everyone on dating apps is single, you still want to pay attention to obvious red flags.
Casual daters and people who don’t want to jump into anything too serious just yet should utilize Tinder(opens in a new tab), Hinge(opens in a new tab), or Bumble(opens in a new tab). OKCupid(opens in a new tab) is best for liberals and the LGBTQ community. There really is a dating site for everybody; it just might take some time to find the one that strikes gold for you.
Most dating sites and apps have free versions, so you can test them out without fully committing. Here’s the full breakdown on our top picks, plus a couple of sites to avoid:
Best For A Serious Relationship
- Free version: Yes
- Three months of Standard: $74.97 ($24.99 per month)
- Six months of Standard: $95.94 ($15.99 per month)
- 12 months of Standard : $143.88 ($11.99 per month)
- Three months of Premium: $80.97 ($26.99 per month)
- Six months of Premium: $107.94 ($17.99 per month)
- 12 months of Premium: $167.88 ($13.99 per month)
Match(opens in a new tab) is one of the most popular dating sites out there — and for good reason. With 27 years to perfect the process, Match is responsible for successful relationships in 24 countries and also got the top spot on our list of best dating sites for finding a serious relationship.
You can expect that people on the site are going to be pretty serious about finding a partner considering Match subscriptions are not super cheap. Generally, people aren’t going to be paying to just mess around and not take it seriously.
Your profile can have up to 26 photos and you’re able to select preferences for the type of person you’re looking for. Write a bio, answer some questions about yourself, and select qualities you want (or don’t want) in a partner and specify how important they are. Setting up your profile takes a little bit of time, but it’s not some horribly lengthy process.
Match shows you one profile at a time and you decide if you want to match with them or skip. You are presented with actual information about the person, so matching is less based on looks and involves more thought about personality. Match recognizes your matching patterns and uses them to give you even better potential partners the more you use the site. Communication takes place over Match’s privacy-centric messaging system until you decide you want to give out personal information.
Best For A Long-Term Relationship
- Free version: Yes
- Six months of Premium Light: $119.40 ($19.90 per month)
- 12 months of Premium Plus: $166.80 ($13.90 per month)
- 24 months of Premium Extra: $213.60 ($8.90 per month)
With more than 20 years in the game, eharmony(opens in a new tab) is a solid starting place for people over 40 who are looking for a committed relationship. If marriage is in your plan, this is the site for you. Don’t believe us? Just check out eharmony’s success stories(opens in a new tab),(opens in a new tab) including people over 50 who got married.
When you sign up for the site you’ll have to take a compatibility quiz that is honestly quite a feat. It consists of 80 questions and takes about 20 minutes to complete. (Be prepared to answer whether you enjoy taking long walks.) But it will hopefully lead to really personalized and compatible matches.
eharmony does have a more conservative background and used to only allow heterosexual couples. (The compatibility quiz used to have way more questions about religion, too.) Now you can select same-sex matching and you won’t be bombarded with questions about your spirituality, though there is a chance for you to select your religious alignment. This past December the site finally made it an option to look at men and women at the same, which is a step in the right direction, but perhaps a step taken several years later than it should have been.
The free version of eharmony lets you receive and view matches, see compatibility details, and send smiles and icebreakers and favorite your matches. If you want to send custom messages and see everyone who’s viewed your profile, you’ll have to purchase a membership.
For Those Simply Looking For Sex
Best For The Over 50 Crowd
- Free version: Yes
- Three months: $53.85 ($17.95 per month)
- Six months: $59.70 ($9.95 per month)
- 12 months: $107.40 ($8.95 per month)
SilverSingles(opens in a new tab) is a dating site exclusively for people 50 years or older, but don’t get turned off by it’s name. You are still young and hip, we promise.
This site is great because of its age requirements. You’ll be in a community of people your age who will *hopefully* be at your maturity level. After signing up, you’ll take a personality test that will be used to match you with compatible singles. The app shows you three to seven new matches every day.
The personality test is a bit lengthy and will take some time to fill out, but that gives SilverSingles more ammo to find you someone who is truly compatible. You’re able to select that you’re looking for a same-sex match, but if you’re interested in both men and women, you can’t choose to get matches from both genders.
Wondering if people actually find success? One of my friends signed her mom up for SilverSingles as a surprise Christmas gift and now her mom has moved in with a man she met on the site.
Best For The LGBTQ Community
- Free version: Yes
- One month of Basic: $11.99
- Three months of Basic: $23.97 ($7.99 per month)
- Six months of Basic : $35.94 ($5.99 per month)
- One month of Premium: $23.99
- Three months of Premium: $47.97 ($15.99 per month)
- Six months of Premium: $71.94 ($11.99 per month)
OkCupid(opens in a new tab) boasts that the site makes more than 91 million connections every year, but that’s not the only reason it’s one of our top picks. It’s one of the most inclusive dating platforms out there. So, if you identify as part of the LGBTQ community or are simply an ally, this is a really good app to check out. It features 22 gender and 12 orientation options, so a lot of bases are covered.
The app asks you questions about topics you care about, like whether you’d consider yourself a feminist. It connects you with people who have similar values and interests as you to help find someone you’re truly compatible with.
OkCupid is definitely more of a liberal leaning dating app, so you might not find what you’re looking for if you identify as conservative. The compatibility questions are thought-provoking and tend to lead to engaging conversations about political issues or world views, but also your favorite TV shows and types of music.
OkCupid utilizes swiping, but you’re presented with more than just some low-effort bio and a couple of photos. It’s a good space for finding something serious or something playful.
OkCupid has a couple of tiers of paid plans, though the free version is plenty functional. But if you want to send unlimited likes or see who likes you first, it might be worth investing in a Basic or Premium plan.
Best For People In Their Early 40s
- Free version: Yes
- One month: $34.99
- Three months: $64.99 ($21.66 per month)
- Six months: $99.99 ($16.66 per month)
Hinge(opens in a new tab) is super popular with millennials because it’s a nice sweet spot where you can like and match with people you find attractive, but there isn’t the pressure of it being a hookup app like Tinder. If you’re on the younger side of the over-40 crowd, Hinge will probably be a success for you. That is not to say that someone on the older side can’t have luck too, though.
Hinge profiles utilize prompts and personal information so you can get a holistic feel for who people are. Matches begin with someone liking or commenting on specific prompts on your profile, so conversation is easier to get started.
The app learns who you like and follows up to see how dates went in order to provide better recommendations in the future. Hinge prides itself on being a dating app that’s “designed to be deleted.” That means the creators want to get you off the app and into a happy, healthy relationship.
With the free version, you can send eight likes per day. Because the number is limited, you have to be more thoughtful about who you like if you’re not paying, which will hopefully lead to more compatible matches. You will see when someone has liked you, so you aren’t left guessing or wondering.
Best For Career-Oriented People
- Free version: Yes
- Three months of Premium: $53.85 ($17.95 per month)
- Six months of Premium: $59.70 ($9.95 per month)
- 12 months of Premium: $107.40 ($8.95 per month)
There’s a mutual understanding that if you’re on EliteSingles(opens in a new tab), you’re a working or retired professional looking to meet other professionals with similar interests. The site caters to a more mature audience, with more than 90 percent of users being 30 or older with higher education.
To begin, you’ll take a personality test and then you’ll start receiving three to seven daily matches based on your test and the preferences you set yourself. You even have the option to filter by profession if that’s important to you. EliteSingles has a few different ways to find potential matches to make sure you’re truly able to find someone you’ll click with.
This is one of the pricier dating sites out there, but on the bright side, you can bet that the people who are paying for the service are pretty damn serious about finding a relationship. Fake and scam accounts are super minimal as EliteSingles manually verifies every profile with a fraud detection system.
EliteSingles does have a slight air of snobbery about it with such a heavy focus on the number of users with a Bachelor’s degree or higher — or as EliteSingles puts it “above average education.” If finding someone with at least a four-year college degree (which is not the only way to be an “educated” person, of course) and a career is a top priority for you, though, this is where you’ll find the most concentrated population of that demographic.
Best For A Casual Relationship
- Free version: Yes
- One month of Tinder Plus: $7.99
- Six months of Tinder Plus: $23.99 ($4 per month)
- 12 months of Tinder Plus: $31.99 ($2.67 per month)
- Tinder Gold: $29.99 per month
- One month of Tinder Platinum: $29.99
- Six months of Tinder Platinum: $89.99 ($15 per month)
- 12 months of Tinder Platinum: $119.99 ($10 per month)
Tinder(opens in a new tab) might seem like the last place to find a date if you’re over 40. It’s known for being a hookup app for younger people. But when I asked my Facebook friends about their favorite apps for dating in your 40s+, I had multiple people tell me they or their family members had success with Tinder and enjoyed using it. So, it is not hopeless as you might think!
Tinder is responsible for more than 43 billion matches in its lifetime. It’s the OG swiping app, showing you profiles that you can either swipe right to like or left to pass. If you and another user both swipe right on each other, it’s a match and you’re free to message each other.
Profiles are pretty basic with just some photos and a bio, so it’s easy to see why Tinder isn’t immediately recognized as a serious relationship matchmaker. That said, it’s definitely still possible to find people who aren’t just looking to hook up. But it’s also pretty easy to find someone who is looking to hook up if that’s what you’re looking for. Do what you want! Live your life!
The app has three paid tiers: Tinder Plus, Tinder Gold, and Tinder Platinum. Plus gives you unlimited likes, five super likes a day, one boost a month, removes ads, and lets you backtrack on your last swipe if you accidentally swiped left on someone you were interested in. Tinder Gold has all of these features plus you can see who likes you before you have to swipe on them and you get top picks every day aka your most swipe-worthy potential matches. Tinder Platinum adds on the Gold features, plus gives you priority likes.
The shitty thing about Tinder is that these paid features can cost more for users over 30. Pricing varies by location, so be sure to check in the app for the most accurate prices.
Best For Outgoing Women Or Shy Men
- Free version: Yes
- One week of Boost: $9.99
- One month of Premium: $44.99
- Three months of Premium: $89.99 ($30 per month)
- Lifetime of Premium: $229.99
On Bumble(opens in a new tab), women make the first move, which is great if you’re a shy man or an outgoing woman. Note: For same-sex couples, anyone can message first.
Bumble has a pretty laid-back environment and profiles feature a quippy bio that you write. You won’t have to take a super long compatibility quiz to get started.
Both people will have to swipe right on each other for it to be a match, and from there, the woman (in straight pairings) will have to initiate things. Matches expire after 24 hours, which is supposed to encourage people to actually start conversations instead of just sitting in a queue full of people waiting.
Other than the fact the women have to make the first move, Bumble is a pretty close mock of Tinder. You upload photos and write a bio, see profiles of potential matches in your area, and swipe right if you’re interested and left if you’re not.
Bumble also has services for finding friends and professional connections in addition to its dating function. You can build all sorts of relationships with Bumble. You came here for dating, though, so we won’t get too into these parts of the app.
Check out these tips to help your profile stand out(opens in a new tab).
A Dating Site to Avoid
- Free version: Yes
- One month: $29.95
- Three months: $59.95 ($19.98 per month)
- Six months: $74.95 ($12.49 per month)
- 12 months: $99.99 ($8.33 per month)
Zoosk(opens in a new tab) has a pretty decent user base with about 40 million members worldwide, and while it used to be innovative, it hasn’t seen many updates since its inception. And it doesn’t seem like many of those members are active on the website.
Rather than a personality or compatibility quiz, Zoosk relies on your activity to determine who to match you with. For example, if you message someone you’re interested in, the site will use that information to show you similar types of profiles moving forward. You’re able to discover matches based on compatibility or use filters to seek out specific characteristics in people.
While there is a free version of the service, it’s basically useless. All you’re able to do is see members’ pictures, send winks and hearts (think Facebook pokes), and see the carousel to discover new people.
If you opt for a paid subscription you can chat with your connections, unlock and connect with people who’ve viewed your profile, and approve and start chatting with people Zoosk picks for you. If you message someone who doesn’t have a paid subscription, they won’t be able to message you back without paying. We are not joking when we say the free version is useless.
Maybe it was once a good place to meet people, but when it comes to online dating there are definitely better, and more updated, options out there.
Worst “Over 50” Site
- Free version: Yes
- One month: $29.99
- Three months: $69.99 ($23.33 per month)
- Six months: $89.99 ($14.99 per month)
You’ve probably seen commercials for OurTime(opens in a new tab) that depict a nice, safe environment for people over 50 to connect and find love, but we’ve actually found it to be kind of sketchy and full of dormant profiles and scammers.
App Store reviews mention poor design, horrible customer service experiences, and bad user experience. If you head over to Sitejabber, you’ll read more of the same, plus tons of stories of people getting scammed out of their money by other users and bots.
As for how it works, you customize your profile with pictures and a bio, then you search and receive matches. With the free version, you’re only able to send likes. If you upgrade and pay you can send messages and see everyone who’s liked you. There aren’t a ton of perks to upgrading, honestly.
One nice thing is that you’re able to select that you’re looking for a same-sex relationship. So, there’s a slight win for inclusivity, I guess.